Matthew - I'm losing you

Discovery #21


When Jesus begins to speak to the crowds about John the Baptist, I feel lost; I feel Jesus going further and further away. He says: Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.' I am getting an inkling that all that has been reported in the gospel - the healings, the miracles, the preachings - is only the tip of a massive iceberg. There is more to this story - which we had struggled to understand even up to this point - that we do not understand or that our imaginations fail to capture. He seems to say: I gave you the miniature version of what is to come. It all has to be dismantled before the real event (eschaton) can happen. It's all coming to a head: 'For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, "He has a demon"; the son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say,"Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!"' Nothing, no sign, miracle, healing, good behavior, decency, act of compassion is good enough for the uncomprehending idiots that we are! I get the feeling that Jesus' time on earth could have been a lot different: the whole world might have followed him with faithful hearts, and Jesus's end might have been much different: rising to heaven with his faithful multitude looking on in wonder and love... Instead, the hardness of human hearts, the pettiness, the silliness, the idiocy of our ways, make Jesus' life on earth an obstacle course of doubts, mockeries, violence, resentment and disrespect.

#22
I feel stricken, like I was there; that my faith was not enough, and feel really really sorry.